Stoned
Mandi Beck
Mandi Beck
Release Date: July 13, 2016
Come get Wrecked with Stone and Willow in this second
chance Rock Star Romance releasing on July 13th!
Pre-order Stoned on iBooks
Blurb
“A rock star with no rhythm is a man with no soul.” – Stone
Lockhart
As the lead singer of one of the hottest bands to hit the
rock scene, fucks are free, drugs come easy, and music is life.
For as long as Stone can remember, Willow has been his music
– the notes that weave his soul together.
His rhythm.
Until he threw her away.
All he has left is a handful of pills and a few lines of
powder to make him forget her.
And he tries, over and over.
Clean and ready to make things right, he’s faced with the
fact that Willow’s moved on. She’s not the same girl he cast aside. Willow’s a
woman sure about her purpose in life. Sure about who she’s meant to love.
Stone may be lost without his rhythm, but Willow has found
so much more.
Excerpt
PROLOGUE
STONE
Head swimming, hands clammy, and with cold sweat trickling
down my spine, I stand on the stage with the lights beaming down on me, hotter
than the fucking sun. With the music humming through my body, I let the
deafening roar of the crowd wash over me like a balm to my toxic soul. I would
kill for a fucking line of blow right now.
This should be more important than any high. Then again, so
should she. I shake my head to rid myself of that shit and the world of hurt
that goes along with it. There’s no time to waste on things I can’t change, not
on this stage anyway.
I smile at them, raise my arms, and motion with my hands for
them to give me more, and they do. I feed off their energy; the stadium is
alive with it and I need it to breathe life back into me. Not that I fucking
deserve it.
Reaching for my mic
stand, I bring it to my mouth and give them my “rock star” smirk. The one that
says I’m the guy your mama warned you about and the one that your daddy has
dreaded since the day you were born.
“Hello New York!” I yell into the mic, making them go even
crazier. “Are you guys ready to rock?” Behind the drums, I give Lawson the cue
to start the countdown and the show begins despite the fact that my heart isn’t
really in it tonight. She isn’t waiting in the wings for me.
Two hours later we head off stage toward the dressing rooms
and the after parties that I love a little too much. Wiping the sweat from my
face, I almost miss her standing there with her back against the wall, that sad
damn look on her face that I put there. Willow was here. I was crazy to think
she wouldn’t be. With new- found confidence I watch as she gives the guys a
wave as they greet her. Knowing that something isn’t right with us, the boys
are smart enough not to linger.
“Willow.” Her name leaves my mouth on a strained breath. I
was sure that I would have to hunt her down and beg for forgiveness after the
shit I said to her. The accusations I hurled all while tears streamed down her
face. Shit I can barely remember because I was so fucking high. Words that I
thought I’d said in a dream, only when I woke up to find her gone, I knew it
wasn’t a dream. More like a goddamn nightmare, and I was living it.
“I need to get my things out of the hotel room, and I don’t
have my key. My name isn’t on the reservation so they won’t give me one at the
front desk. I wasn’t sure if you were planning to leave right after the show or
not, so…” She trails off. “I won’t take long, and I’ll leave it at the front
desk for you, for when you get back.”
All of this is said in a cold, detached ramble that I’m not
used to hearing from my Wills. Her face looks drawn, her eyes red-rimmed. I
broke her and that kills me. We’ve been together for years, and in one night, I
threw it all away. And for what? I can’t even remember right now. No, that’s
not true. It wasn’t just one night. I’ve been throwing her away every damn
night for months. Chasing that high, letting the paranoia seep in where it
didn’t belong.
“I just need to grab my stuff and then I have a flight to
catch.” She’s so…empty. Void and despondent. It stabs at my insides. Bile
churning with the knowledge that I snuffed out her light.
“You—you’re leaving Wills?” The pain I feel at that rocks
me.
Shaking her head at me, I see the tears glistening in her
hollowed out eyes.
“Don’t. Don’t call me that! The only reason that I’m even
still here is because my purse is in the room with my phone and ID in it.
Otherwise, I would be home by now.” There’s an underlying thread of hysteria
and damning heard in her words.
It hits me then just how big of a bastard I really am. I
hurt her, forced her to walk out on me last night, all because of my
insecurities, my need to occupy that place of numbness, my heaven and her hell.
And now she tells me that she had no phone, no money, no clothes. Nothing.
“Where did you stay last night, Wills? Where did you go
without your purse?”
She flinches mildly and then shuts down again. “Don’t worry
about it, Stone. I’m not your concern anymore. You don’t have to take care of
my ‘needy ass.’ I can take care of myself.”
I can see the anger flaring, red creeping across her
beautiful face, but I can also see her lip quivering as she recounts the
hurtful things I said to her last night. Words meant to hurt but that were in
no way true. I was a dick, I screwed up, and I know in my heart she won’t give
me a chance to make it right. I pushed her too far for too long, and now she’s
done.
“Willow, I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean any of it. I was
drunk and stupid. Please, baby, let’s talk about it. As soon as the tour is
over we can go away just you and me.” There’s desperation in my voice, fear
lacing my words. I can’t lose her. I’m not me without her.
“I’m finished talking. I am sick of being accused of things
I would never do. I am over walking on eggshells with you, afraid to upset you.
Worrying that I’ll end up alone in our room again, in another strange city that
I followed you to, wondering where you are and who you’re with and what you’re
doing. Hoping this high won’t be the one that you take too far. I’m done with
all of it. I love you and I have stood by you, putting up with all of it
because I wanted to support you. To be there for you because I know that you
are under a lot of pressure, but now I’m done. I’m going home. I see now that I
never should have left.”
This is all said with such finality that I feel panic
bubbling up inside me. I open my mouth to beg her to stay and talk when a
trashy-looking blonde walks up and slides her hand up my arm.
“Stone, I thought you were going to call me,” she whines as
she strokes her fingers back and forth over the tattoo on my arm, the willow
tree that I got as a surprise for my girl long ago. I snatch my arm away from
the blonde and look up at Wills, my eyes wild.
“Baby, it’s not what you think. I swear to you, Wills, it
isn’t.” I have no clue if that’s the truth.
“Save it, Stone. I heard you loud and clear last night.
You’re not made for one woman. I was stupid to think that you were. Can you
please just give me the key so I don’t miss my flight?” Her voice is laced with
the anger and pain that she’s feeling, that we’re both feeling.
“Will—”
“Please!” she cries out, stomping her foot. I’ve never seen
her this way. So emotional yet detached at the same time.
The blonde still standing there, watching it all.
I shake my head, imploring her with my eyes, since my words
don’t mean anything right now, begging for her to not do this. Taking in a
painful breath, I pull out my wallet and take out the room key.
Handing it over to her, I try one more time.
“Willow, please don’t leave. Not like this,” I plead with
her.
She takes the key card from me with a trembling hand,
careful not to touch me when she does.
“I’ll be out of the house by the time you get back into
town. I’ll leave my keys over at the studio with Addy,” she says, looking right
through me.
She flicks a glance over at the girl who still hasn’t moved
and then back to me.
“You got what you wanted, Stone. You’re single and free to
do whatever and whoever you want without having to worry about sneaking around.
Don’t keep her waiting — she looks like a sure thing.”
With that little parting remark, I watch the woman of my
dreams walk away and out of my life. There isn’t enough music in the world that
could make the pain of losing her go away. This isn’t where our song ends; I
won’t let it. Only I’m not sure I have much of a choice. And just like that, my
heart stops beating in rhythm.
About Mandi Beck
Writer, wife, mom, student and avid reader
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